Happiness Rediscovered in Ethiopia!

What’s up guys!  To quote the great philosopher Jay Z, “Allow me to re-introduce myself!”  I know it’s been FOREVER since my last post, so I want to sincerely apologize for my long hiatus.  I’ve been through a lot the past 6 months since I’ve moved to my site, emotionally & physically.  I’m not even going to attempt to write about all my experiences over that period of time.  I think it will be best to use this post to explain why I’ve neglected my blog for so long.

 I have encountered countless challenges while living at my site.  There really haven’t been any more than I expected, just the challenges have been a lot different than I anticipated.  Some I have been able to overcome & some I will probably deal w/ until the day I go home.  The biggest challenge for me has been staying busy.  All the other challenges I can isolate & they don’t really have a debilitating effect on my mental state.  The water shortages, power outages, or low food variety aren’t that big a deal to me.  Maybe since I grew up in poor & humbling living conditions, it doesn’t faze me that much.  Not being busy, having a lot of free time w/ no way to fill it leads to a bored, idle mind, weird thoughts, & if you’re not careful, sadness & depression.  You would be amazed at some of the thoughts that go through your mind when you’ve been sitting around in your room for hours w/ no power & your I-pod is out of juice... If all a zombie does is eat flesh, shouldn’t they have to go to the bathroom?...Yes, I actually contemplated this.  You just think a lot, good, bad, & weird.  I haven’t hit depression, but there have been extended periods of joylessness.  I never could have imagined going days w/ out laughing, but I have.  Anyone who knows me well knows that although I’m a quiet person, I’m always carefree, joking, & upbeat.  I’ve also had issues staying motivated.  Things move so slowly, a feeling of hopelessness can wash over you.  The weeks & months have actually gone by fast, but the days can last forever. 

I think it’ll be good to explain how we, as Peace Corps Volunteers, work in our community.  This will help illustrate how light our schedules can be.  We don’t work your prototypical 8-5 shifts.  Education volunteers work regular days in designated schools in their towns, so they have a more regimented schedule.  Volunteers in other fields, like the environment sector that I’m in, work on projects they develop on their own.  This can be a slow, grueling, & frustrating process.  You depend so much on your Ethiopian counterpart, as well as other associates at your site, that control of what you want to do is limited.  For instance, a water bottle recycling project I’m working on has been held up for months waiting on a contract to be finalized w/ the local water bottle distributor in my town.  What’s the hold up?  The supervisor is NEVER in town.  There isn’t much I can do.  The contract is a must to ensure payment for the bottles.  That’s just one example, so most of my work consists of strategy meetings w/ my counterpart 2 to 4 times a week.  I do activities to integrate myself into my community, like basketball w/ the guys in town.  I also help out w/ some environmental projects other groups in town have, like tree watering & compost making.  On a good week this may take 15 hours of my time, so I have a lot of free time.

So Rashad, How do you manage your free time?...I’m glad you asked!  There have been pluses & minuses to all this time.  I talked about the minuses earlier, so to keep this post from being horribly depressing I’ll talk about pluses.

I’m probably in the best physical shape I’ve been in since I was in college.  I work out every day.  I HAVE to work out every day to maintain my sanity.  Which is ironic since I was doing the “insanity” work outs.  Between the work outs, cooling down, & bathing, that would kill 2 hours a day. I got to the point where I was exercising twice a day, doing strength work in the evenings, AND doing basketball practice 3 days a week.  Due to the fact that I lost over 15 pounds & at one point was less than 160 pounds, I had to cut out “insanity” & just do strength work, playing basketball occasionally.  I have since bulked up to a robust 165 pounds.  Since my cooking is limited to oatmeal, pancakes, & eggs, I rely on Ethiopian cuisine to pack on the pounds.  This aint easy.  How many huge Ethiopians have you seen?  I live here & can’t find any.  In fact, when my 165 pounds soaking wet ass is playing basketball in my tank top, they’ll say “STRONG MAN!”….”BIG MAN!”  That usually comes from a guy w/ broomsticks for arms.  I’m cut though; muscles have more definition than a dictionary, unfortunately, I’m about as thick was one too.  Another good habit I’ve picked up is reading more.  I read a 450 page book in 3 days, & I am a VERY slow reader.  I read at the speed I talk, yes, THAT slow.  I was basically reading all day for 3 straight days.  I read the Hunger Games trilogy in a little over a week, which was over 1,000 pages total.  I’m surprised I didn’t get bed sores.

Ok, so I’m blogging now, so something obviously had to change.  I actually went back & read my Aspiration Statement from when I was applying for PC.  I realized I had totally lost focus on why I was here, which is to help people in need, absorb & share culture, and the life experience.  I’ve been wallowing in self pity too much, prioritizing the wrong things, and being overly self absorbed & self indulgent.  I’m upset about eating at the same restaurant 3 days in a row, while I’m walking past someone who doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from.  Being homesick & counting days wasn’t doing anyone any good either.  Keeping one eye on home & the other on the calendar will not only drive me crazy, but keep me from being productive.  When you put it in perspective, 27 months is not that long.  I only have 18 to go, it’s not like I’m in federal prison.  After all this, I will get to go home, & it’s not like there aren’t issues to worry about there either.  Another experience that kind of gave me an epiphany & woke me up was some people I met last weekend.  I met a PCV who was probably in his late 60s to early 70s & I couldn’t help but be impressed by the life he’s carved out for himself here.  He’s not in a ton of PC committees or anything, he just works on projects w/ the connections he’s made on his own & does all he can to help the community he’s in.  He's done so well & is so comfortable w/ his place here, he's extended for a 3rd & 4th year.  That’s where I want to be (except for maybe the extending part.)  I met another man who’s American, but has lived in Ethiopia for the past 40 years w/ his wife.  He seemed so genuinely happy it couldn’t help but rub off.  It taught me two things.  The 1^st is happy is what you are, not where, & you control it.  I can only be as happy as I let myself be.  The 2^nd is that moods can be infectious.  It’s not fair to those around me to be miserable & finding joy within me may also pass along to others.

So there you go.  I’m blogging again (weekly now, I hope) & I’ve had a great week so far & feel like I’m settling in & finally figuring things out.  Hopefully that includes cooking.